Why can't I just quit?
Because, mothers don’t quit. Or at least that’s what I’ve told myself. Sometimes I think if I didn’t care so much about everything or try so hard at everything, well, then life could be a whole lot easier, right?
I’m a classic overthinker combined with being an overachiever, or at least- I’m always trying. Maybe this is what four years of being a student has done to me, every time I wanted to quit, I told myself, “you can’t quit”.
Or maybe it’s because we mothers don’t have the privilege of quitting because we’re the ones that pick up the slack, and the pieces are shattered when others have to quit. And when I want to quit (the dinner, the homework, the laundry, the day, the project, the whatever), I often end up pivoting instead. I don’t stop. I roll with the punches ( we all do), whether that’s getting up with a child in the middle of the night because of a bad dream or an accident and then getting up again at 6 am to start the day, commuting an hour and a half cause you forgot the lunch bag/backpack, I pivot, I keep going.
The days, weeks, and months are just really hard here lately. One disappointing email after another (that has nothing to do with my kids, everything to do with me), and still I shake the dust off and I “mom.”
Listen to the latest happenings of the day or the latest obsession of my kids (lately, its spiderman and pokemon) and nod with interest, ask questions, and put away the clothes/dishes no one notices. Replace the empty toothpaste, shampoo, and cold/flu medicine, and make the bed even though I’m the one who's making it again tomorrow. Put the art on the refrigerator, and “mom” another day. Which really means create, care, give, mend, nurture, another day.
While I’ve often felt resentful about my inability to quit, I’m realizing it’s a superpower, a gift, really. I was asked in an interview what my “writing superpower” was. I could have (should have ) said so many things, meeting deadlines, accuracy, connecting, and telling a story. I think I said finding inspiration everywhere. Because that’s what being a mother has taught me, that when I want to quit, I need look no further than my kids for the inspiration to keep going. It requires a lot of brainstorming, problem-solving, and pivoting to keep going. But I’m a Mother, it’s what I do; I don’t quit. Here are some things I’m trying to do instead.
Things to do instead of quit:
Take a deep breath
Take a break (rest, don’t quit, come back and revisit it again)
Take a walk
Create something
Journal the problem/feelings (leave them on the page
Pray (leave the problem with a loving capable God)
This post is part of a blog hop with Exhale—an online community of women pursuing creativity alongside motherhood, led by the writing team behind Coffee + Crumbs. Click here to view the next post in the series "A Question".
